It’s the real thing if you find yourselves talking seriously about the future.

If you’re only going to be together for the summer, then you’re only going to be making plans for a few days, or maybe weeks, into the future. You might talk about hypothetical dates you would go on in the future, but nothing is set in stone. However, if it’s the real thing, then you’re going to be figuring out how to make the relationship work beyond the summer. You’re going to be setting plans for months later because you plan to keep each other in your lives permanently.

It’s only a fling if you aren’t putting an official label on the relationship.

If this person keeps making excuses about how they don’t like labels or about how they want to keep their options open, then your relationship is probably not going to last much longer than a season. After all, if they want to keep you in their life forever, then they’re going to be clear about their feelings. They’re going to make a real commitment and put an official label on the relationship, so you can start your journey as a couple.

It’s the real thing if you develop a deep, emotional connection.

Summer flings are about passion. You’ll spend most of your time together kissing and holding hands, enjoying your physical connection. However, if it’s the real thing, then they are going to let their walls down completely. They’re going to open up about their deepest secrets, fears, hopes, and dreams, then ask you about yours. They’re going to give you access to every side of themselves, not only the surface layers.

It’s only a fling if you never spend time alone together.

Even though it’s fun to hang out with big groups of friends, especially over the summer, you’re never going to develop a deep connection if there are always other people around. Remember, make-out sessions shouldn’t be the only time when you’re alone together. If you’re always hanging out in big groups, and only sneaking off for kisses, then it’ll be hard to get to know each other as well as a couple should. However, if it’s the real thing, then you’ll go out on actual dates. You’ll spend one-on-one time together. You’ll make time for each other.

It’s the real thing if they post about you online.

If they’re keeping you a secret, then there’s a good chance you’re only a fling and they want to look like they’re still single so they don’t lose their chance with anyone else. But if they delete their dating apps and post pictures of you on social media, making it clear you’re a couple, then it’s the real thing. They’re showing you off because they’re proud to be with you. They’re excited to start their love story with you.

It’s only a fling if they are always inviting you out at the last minute.

If they refuse to set plans in advance, they’re probably waiting to see what other options come along. They’re probably only inviting you out when they’re bored and lonely, when they have nothing better on the agenda. Of course, you shouldn’t be a backup plan. You should be the first person they want to hang out with when they have free time.

It’s the real thing if they introduce you to their family.

No one is going to bring you around their parents on purpose if they’re planning on walking away once the summer is done. If they’ve invited you to family parties and are introducing you to all their favorite people, then they are picturing you as a permanent part of their life.

It’s only a fling if they refuse to talk about their feelings for you.

Even if they like you, a relationship is never going to work if they aren’t sharing their thoughts and feelings. Someone who really wants to be with you won’t be shy about how much they care about you and how much you mean to them. So if they never give you compliments or talk about how much they like you, then there’s a chance it’s only a fling and their attraction is more physical than emotional.

It’s the real thing if they’re putting in as much effort as you are.

If they want to be a permanent part of your world, they’ll show you that they care through their words and their actions. They’ll put effort into initiating conversations, keeping conversations going, planning dates, and making you smile. If they’re actively trying, it’s a good sign. It means they want you around forever, not only for the summer.

1. You don’t magically stop loving them.

Even if they did something heinous, something that makes you sure you never want to see them again, you’ll be surprised to learn that the love you had doesn’t just filter away. It doesn’t slip through your fingers like sand, but instead sits inside you like a ghost. You feel its presence strongly at first, then the love fades only to a whisper in the background.

2. You see them everywhere, even if just in the way the sun moves.

You’ll be reminded of them every day. Your song will come on and you’ll feel that heartache anew. You’ll pass the ice cream parlor where you had your first date or hear their name in a stranger’s conversation and it’ll be yet another reminder of what you lost. While it’ll sting at first, you’ll come to look on these reminders fondly, because they show you a glimpse into the past that shaped who you are in the present.

3. Your true friends will hold your hand through the rough parts.

When you’re in the very middle of your heartbreak, your entire world is turned upside down. The things you found fun aren’t important anymore. You just want to spend your time trying to heal. The real friends, the ones who always have your back, will step up to be with you for the hard times. They’ll show you that they have your back, even when you’re a sniffling pile of heartbroken sadness.

4. The physical toll of heartbreak is real–and it hurts almost as much as your emotions.

They call it heartbreak for a reason. The physical symptoms after the breakup are very real. Your chest will hurt, you’ll experience exhaustion and a massive headache from crying yourself to sleep. You might even feel general pain from head to toe. During this time, it’s just as important to take care of your physical body as you’re taking of your complex emotions.

5. Even though it’s hard, your heart will slowly heal.

The biggest lesson of all, the one that will stay with you for months, years, decades, is the incredible power you have when it comes to healing this impossible wound. In the first moments after your first big heartbreak, you’ll feel like you’ll never recover. But you will, bit by bit. And before long, you’ll start to feel yourself again. You’ll know that, no matter what new heartbreak happens in the future, you’ll survive that, too.

There’s a hollowness that comes with a breakup. 

Laying in bed at night, my body felt fragile as the sheets settled around me. My tomorrows felt like hurdles. My todays were weighted in solitude. My mind was a treetop filled with birds that would not stop cooing, even when I wanted silence.

You prepare yourself for this– the hurting, the decaying. Shedding a layer of yourself to bloom ripe again but you’re not quite there yet. You’re still detaching yourself from them and aching through it. Peeling each memory away and saying goodbye to a certain intimacy; how it felt for someone to know your every thought, dream, meal, cry, failure, success, and so much more. Breaking up ensues a mourning process that we all expect but trudge through slowly; waving goodbye to old sayings, jokes, nicknames, and songs like fading highway billboards while we keep driving forward.

We can be so lost in the river of our own wallowing that we lose perspective. But slowly, bit by bit we lose our tunnel vision and discover the many people rafting alongside us. Our friends, sisters, brothers, neighbors, etc. that have stepped into our grief with us and are holding our hands through it all; acting as our lifebuoys ready to bring us ashore.

Late at night when my mind felt cinderblock-heavy, and my fingers wanted to type I miss you, my best friend would call to keep me company. Each day she checked in, keeping me level while my world felt askew. I visited friends in different cities and we watched old romcoms that reminded me how sweet love should be; visited museums that reparked my love for art and my desire to write; and cooked new recipes that helped me to savor flavor again. I cried to them about what I missed and why I left and they listened. Every morning they echoed,

you are strong

I’m so proud of you

there is so much more joy in store for you 

and I felt myself replenishing.

Each moment spent alongside them helped me come back to myself. Instead of spending my days lamenting a relationship that was no longer serving me, I began rejoicing in a life that was even more fulfilling than before. A life nourished by my mother’s baked ziti; loud music sung with friends on long drives in the sun; group workouts in the grass; laughs over reality tv show gossip; cuddles with a dog that has loved me from cringey adolescence to adulthood; my list goes on. Instead of dedicating days, nights, and precious heart space to a partner that did not bring out my best, I could now devote hours, days, weekends to the people that did– the ones that know me to my core; the ones returning me to my center. 

To the friends that love us through heartbreak, thank you for staying. Thank you for breaking our heartbreak and helping us rediscover ourselves. Thank you for reminding us that we don’t need anyone else to feel whole and that when we are feeling vulnerable, we have you to lean on. 

True friends are soulmates. They are there for the bright times, saying cheers with a glass of wine and smiling big for your wins. They are there for the dark ones too, offering you the tenderest comfort or bounds of forgiveness. When you feel like you’re drowning, true friends roll up their jeans and wade into the waters of heartache with you. They remind you endlessly that you are not alone because they are our anchors, our lifebuoys, our rocks to hold us steady always. So, to these friends, the ones that love us abundantly through heartbreak– thank you for staying; for carrying us out of our grief; for reminding us who we are and how much bliss we have left to experience because you are by our side. 

And I hope you know that if the time comes, I will wade knee-deep beside you too, because true friends stay.

Because we are in this life together.

Find a love that is warm, like feeling the sun on your skin. A love that hugs you like a soft towel around your body.

Find a love that feels the way sunsets look, like when orange and pink wed across the sky and it feels as if the colors are swallowing you whole. A love that feels like standing at the edge of the ocean and looking out to the horizon with a calm, hopeful spirit.

Find a love that feels safe for you to let your inner child out, to look at life as if everything is new and pure. A love that feels fun, like running through the sprinkler and feeling the grass between your toes. Find a love that is exciting, like chasing down the ice cream truck. A love that satisfies that craving you’ve had, but one you never get tired of tasting. Find a love that you want to savor.

Find a love that feels exhilarating, like diving into the ocean or racing your bike down an empty road. Find a love that feels like driving with the windows down, singing along to your favorite song, and feeling your hair blowing in the wind. Find a love that feels free.

Find a love that feels like summer, even when it’s cold and gray and you feel like despair is going to swallow you whole. A love that shines a light into your dark world. A love that is a comfort, a friend, a shoulder to cry on. A love that will reassure you that even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, everything will be okay.

Find a love that inspires hope. A love that makes you believe in love again — that makes you believe in life again.

The first season premiered to critical acclaim, as the intergenerational narratives and sweet and spicy rom-com appeal made for a taste of summer escapism — with depth beyond the everyday beach read. With season 2 set to premiere on July 14, 2023, the cast sat down with TODAY to discuss what viewers can expect from the story moving forward. 

Spoiler Warning for Season 1 of The Summer I Turned Pretty

The main characters in ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ are maturing and, with that, comes new struggles 

Young love is folly. Young love is bubbly. It’s fearless. It feels all-encompassing, but it’s wrapped up in so much wonder and naivete. It’s innocence meets infatuation. But…what happens when young love blossoms? What happens when people age and discover what true commitment and devotion look like? 

While the main characters in The Summer I Turned Pretty are still quite young in season 2, they’re maturing. The new season will focus on their characters’ growth and how that interweaves into the love triangle. When Hota Kotb asked how the cast members would “encapsulate” what viewers can expect to see in season 2, Tung shared: 

“I would say the characters go through a lot of growth and have experienced new things, as you do when you grow up and are sort of learning how to deal with these new feelings and changes in their relationships…dealing with family, love triangle…”

Briney chimed in with a similar sentiment, noting: 

“I think, sort of in relation to the first season, the second season grows up with these characters. Because they’ve experienced a lot of big things in their life up to this point, bigger than they had going into the first season…the tone sort of goes along with them.”

Based on Briney and Tung’s explanation, Season 2 of The Summer I Turned Pretty may boast a more serious tone. Their life circumstances (following their discovery that Conrad and Jeremiah’s mother has cancer) are definitely a bit more somber than they were in season 1. However, based on the teaser trailer for the upcoming second installment, the show will still boast its signature flair for flirtation and fun. But, right after you finish giggling, you might want to grab the box of tissues because a tearjerking scene is bound to follow suit.

For so long, I have been guarding my heart tightly and refusing to let anyone close to me. I was convinced that I couldn’t do relationship because none have worked out for me. I was disillusioned about ever meeting the right person.

But you, you make it easy for me to open my heart to you.

You teach me how to trust in love.

That just because love has failed me before doesn’t mean that it will again. You make me try to keep my dark emotions at bay and not let negativity get the best of me. You make feel at ease in my own skin and accept me for the person I am despite all my flaws and insecurities. You make me feel like myself with your endless encouragement and support for me to become my ideal self.

With you, there is no game to be caught up in and confusing mixed signals to decipher. We are simply together because we want to be. There are no excuses of wrong timing and place. There are no adversities that we cannot conquer when we are fighting whatever odds against us side by side. There is not a moment of doubt in our relationship that we are in this together.

You are worth the risk for I am falling in love with you.

I don’t know how you do it but I am completely smitten with you. I’m obsessed with the way your eyes lit up when they found mine as though I’m the light you’re seeking for. I’m addicted to the rush of adrenaline when you slip your fingers around mine tightly like you won’t ever let me go. I’m enjoying the process of unraveling your mind and your deepest secrets.

You make my heart so full with your presence until it’s bursting with the fullness of it. You enlivened me in the best possible way and my life is a vivid shade of passion, love, and joy. You bring me back to life from the wreckage of my previous heartbreak and dismantle all my old bitter belief about love. You make me believe that you are different and till today, you have given me no reason to think otherwise.

You are worth the risk for I have never met someone like you. Someone who is patient with me and loves me with every inch of his wide generous heart.

You teach me that love is kind and patient. Even when we don’t see eye to eye to certain things, you never raise your voice at me or utter any hurtful word. When I turn away, you reach towards me and hug me tighter breaking down the barrier between us. When dark times threaten to overwhelm us, you simply face it bravely with me and assure me that we will survive whatever storm comes our way.

With you, I have found my best friend and my soulmate. I have found my home in you. I have found a love that never leaves.

You are worth the risk, every bit of it, and I have no regret knowing you. I have no regret loving you.

Fairytales and storybooks have got it all wrong. We are often taught that love is a feeling, but feelings are fleeting and unreliable. Feelings are not a true source of support for you or your partner. A relationship cannot be defined by something as unpredictable as your feelings or your emotions in the moment.

Therefore, love is a choice and I am choosing to be with you. I am choosing to love you despite how afraid my heart is. I am choosing to let you in regardless of what my past has taught me. I am choosing to place my heart in your hands and hoping you will not break it. I am choosing to trust that you will remain loyal and that you will not intentionally hurt me. No matter what skeletons are in your closet — worst fears, insecurities, or doubts — I am still going to choose you. I am choosing to choose you because my heart knows I got lucky with this one.

I am choosing to be vulnerable and to let someone into my guarded, taped-up heart. I am choosing to heal my jaded edges and the damage that has been left by others because I want to be able to choose you full-heartedly. I am choosing to heal so that you do not have to carry my baggage — my doubts and fears. 

I am choosing to wake up every day at 4 a.m. to watch the sunrise because I want to know why you like sunrises so much. I am choosing to accompany you on every adventure because I know you sometimes feel lonely and I do not ever want you to feel alone. I am choosing to explore your favorite restaurants with you because I know your love language is quality time. I am choosing to support you through every endeavour and reassure your insecurities and worries because you chose to do the same for me.

You are everything to me, and you do not deserve to be half loved due to ever-changing feelings. It is pretty simple: I am choosing to be with you. Because love is a choice.

Thank you for sticking with us through our most embarrassing moments. You’ve seen us through years of cringeworthy fashion choices and still loved us for our questionable tastes. You’ve stood with us after witnessing missteps with crushes who’d never love us back, watching us imbibe drinks that were a little too strong and reading the ridiculous social media posts we’d later come to regret. You’re so close to us that you’ve seen years’ worth of awkward, uncomfortable moments and never once thought about leaving our side.

Thank you for patiently listening to us as we share both our pettiest complaints and our biggest mistakes. You’ve heard years’ worth of woes, from the school programs that slowly robbed us of our sanity to the regrettable texts we sent our exes to the tears over the ones who broke our hearts — and you never once told us that the problems we faced were unworthy of your time. You’ve wanted to shake us, to tell us to stop venting about people and problems that won’t matter in a few years, but you’ve continued to validate us. You’ve constantly shown us that our struggles truly matter to you, no matter how trivial they may seem.

Thank you for loving us through the decisions we made before we started healing. You’ve seen us act in ways that harm ourselves and others and still stay because you believe we can fight our demons. You’ve heard us cry and yell and panic and break down when life felt like it was no longer within our grasp, and you’ve guided us through the pain, promising that our lives can improve. You’ve witnessed the fights we’ve picked and the confrontations we’ve instigated and still choose to love us through our worst moments. You’ve always seen who we truly are and believe we’re worthy of comfort and forgiveness — and in return, we believe the same of you.

To the friends who have never judged us, thank you for seeing us through our biggest mistakes and most uncomfortable moments. You’re the friends we’ll cherish for a lifetime because you love us through everything we face — and we’ll always love you back.

I also want to say, I know thank you can never be enough.

I know what it’s like to believe you can depend on someone and then slowly realize you can’t. I know that sometimes people will try their best, and it still won’t always work out the way you hope it will. Friendship isn’t an easy thing at times. Life becomes hectic, new priorities start to take place, and nothing ever slows down. The world is constantly moving, and it forces us to move right along with it. So making time for each other becomes more and more difficult, even with the best of intentions.

So I know just how valuable it is that you show up for me in the moments I need you. I know that being present isn’t as simple as we make it out to be. It requires effort, emotional energy, and attention that the rest of our lives are desperately begging for. Sometimes it feels relatively easy to show up. Other times it takes everything we can muster to do so.

I also know you can’t truly always be there for me. Not because you don’t want to, but because none of us can. I know you have a life that requires your focus, your wisdom, and it can’t be split into a dozen different ways. Everyone has moments that they need to take care of themselves, and I don’t expect you to drop everything the moment I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk things out. You have an incredible heart, and if I took advantage of that, I wouldn’t be a true friend.

Yet, I know you always try your best for me. I know if I reach out to you, I’m not a burden adding to the heaviness of your life. I’m not an obligation you have to meet. I know that if you can be there for me, you will- and if you can’t, it’s not anything personal. You’ve proven enough times that you do whatever you can, and in the absences, I know it’s because you’re a person who has other things to manage. You’re never someone I have to question if they care for me- our history has proven that time and time again.

You’re the reason I understand what it means to be a friend and to be there for someone. You show me constantly. Anytime you reach out to see how I’m doing, the times you agree to meet up with me when you know I need someone to listen, the kindness that you show me in a million small ways. You have shown me what it looks like to care for someone so intentionally, even when it’s not convenient to do so.

Because of that compassion, I also realize you don’t have to talk to me or be with me 24/7 to show how much you care. I see how much you deal with and how hard life can be for you sometimes. You know I’m always ready to be there for you in the ways you need it, in whatever ways I can. Friendship isn’t a one-sided thing, and knowing you has made me a better person and friend to those around me. I will always do my best to return all the love you’ve shown me because you deserve that.

When it comes down to it, I know that it can be easy to slowly fade away in each other’s lives, especially the older we get. I’m thankful that we won’t let that happen without giving it our best effort. I’m grateful to know that I can depend on you in the moments when life gets rough, as well as celebrate the moments where life is incredible.

Thank you for being there for it all.

Here are four ways to heal your broken heart:

1. Allow yourself to accept and feel the pain.

This is probably the last thing you want to hear when you’re in pain. But at the very same time, this is also the most important step, as awareness is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to feel the hurt, the pain, and the discomfort. Give yourself permission to feel the many colors and shades of black that encompass a gentle heart that was torn into two.

So often we shy away from this pain, but it’s only when we truly allow ourselves to feel it that we can gain perspective on the situation and realize that perhaps we were given a gift in disguise. You see, everything may not happen the way that we had hoped, but it does serve a vital purpose in our lives.

And once we’re able to accept the discomfort and anguish that we’re feeling, we can finally move on from it.

2. See things from a new perspective.

Although this one relationship didn’t work out the way you had hoped, that doesn’t mean that you are doomed to be alone. When we’re hurt, we jump to all kinds of conclusions about our fate and our life. But the reality is, life is always working for you. You are always flowing with the current of life, and although things may seem bad now, it’s so important to challenge ourselves to see a new perspective and look at things with an open mind and heart.

Perhaps this person wasn’t the one for you. But perhaps they weren’t meant to be.

Perhaps life is giving you exactly what you may need right now, rather than just what you want. Instead of resisting this moment right now, let’s welcome it and trust that everything happens for a reason that is ultimately for our best.

3. Find something that you’re passionate about.

When the world was dim and my headspace was cloudy, I needed something to focus on. I needed something to take my mind off the aching pain, but more importantly, build back up my confidence that was lost from a tender broken heart. For me, that was when I found writing. I fell in love with creativity and writing became not just my outlet, but my passion for expression and courage.

For you, though, this doesn’t have to be writing. For you, this can be anything from drawing to playing guitar to playing a sport that you love. For you, this could be anything.

But when you find something that you’re passionate about, you find who you are again. You find that inner confidence and happiness in yourself once more and realize that although you may be hurting right now, your pain will eventually become a scar that will remind you of how strong you once were. Because at the end of the day, our scars serve as so much more than a reminder of our pain, but rather, a reminder of our perseverance, our courage, and our trust for something better to come in our lives.

4. Use this as a lesson to grow.

Throughout my life, I’ve had my heart broken a few times. But every single time, I’ve learned something new about myself, what I want, and most importantly, what I deserve. The same goes for each and every one of us—you deserve to be loved fully, to be accepted wholly, and to be happy unconditionally. Use this painful experience as a time to focus on yourself, to grow, and to look within.

We are not what happens to us, nor should we ever be defined by how another person may feel about us. Life is meant to be beautifully enjoyed, and every experience—every moment—is a moment to learn from, to grow from, and to appreciate.

Heartbreak is one of the most challenging times of your life. There is no question about it. But on the other side of the spectrum is an amazing opportunity to allow yourself to feel the pain and use that discomfort to fuel you. To look within, to look beyond what’s external, and to look deeply into yourself to what’s ultimately inside of you.

Let this painful experience become the moment you decided to change. To change the way you view yourself and the world. The moment you made a decision to look deep within and deeper into life. Because although this person wasn’t meant for you, they will always serve as a passing character in your life’s story that taught you so much more about yourself and what you ultimately deserve.

You deserve love, and heartbreak only teaches you what it means to love more fully. You are whole and complete just the way you are, and soon, your light will come. Soon your moment will come. But in the meantime, love fully, allow yourself to be as vulnerable as you can be, and keep living in a way that’s true and honest with who you really are.

That’s all we can do at the end of the day. But if we do so, the right one will always find us.