Molly Burford | Thought Catalog https://thoughtcatalog.com Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas. Thu, 10 Aug 2023 21:10:32 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.3.1 https://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/cropped-favicon-512x512-1-1.png?w=32 Molly Burford | Thought Catalog https://thoughtcatalog.com 32 32 175582106 The Summer Song That’s The Soundtrack To Your Love Life, Based On Your Zodiac Sign https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/07/the-summer-song-thats-the-soundtrack-to-your-love-life-based-on-your-zodiac-sign/ Thu, 13 Jul 2023 16:40:58 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1080420 Here is the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life, based on your zodiac sign.

Aries 

Aries, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Shut Up and Dance” by WALK THE MOON. You are a passionate and intense fire sign who doesn’t waste time debating whether or not you’re going to go after someone you find attractive. You just do it! You are bold, fun, and ready to fall in love this summer.

Taurus 


Taurus, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Mine (Taylor’s Version)” by Taylor Swift. You want a steady love, a love that makes all of the other loves from your past irrelevant. You want a relationship that makes sense, that feels safe, and that lasts well past the summer.

Gemini 

Gemini, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)” by Whitney Houston. You are playful with your heart. You want a romance that is fun and exciting, someone you can have deep conversations with and someone you can also dance the night away with at the bar.

Cancer 


Cancer, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Home” by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. You are a homebody at heart but nothing makes you feel more secure than being with someone you love (and who loves you right back). For you, love feels a lot like coming home, which is why this is the perfect summer track for you.

Leo 


Leo, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift. Not only do you want to be celebrated, you don’t believe in hiding your feelings either. You don’t want to be secretive when it comes to who you love. You want to love out loud and let everyone know it.

Virgo 


Virgo, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Electric Touch (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)” by Taylor Swift featuring Fall Out Boy. When it comes to romance, you take your time. You are very cautious with your heart because you know what it feels like to have to put it back together. That said, you still want to fall in love. You just want to take a calculated risk, that’s all.

Libra 


Libra, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Cruise” by Florida Georgia Line. Always ready for romance, you want a love that feels like summer: hot, romantic, and hopeful. You want to spend these next few months finding love whenever you can.

Scorpio 


Scorpio, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Slide” by The Goo Goo Dolls. You struggle to trust and are hesitant to give your heart away before you are sure it’s the right person. You want someone who is all in and crazy about you. That is the only type of love for you.

Sagittarius


Sagittarius, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Feeling This” by blink-182. You have an adventurous spirit with a heart that is hard to capture. That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be down for a summer fling, though. You don’t mind fleeting romance. In fact, you prefer it. Because just like summer, there is a season for everything.

Capricorn 


Capricorn, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Nice For What” by Drake. You have no time for the games that come with modern dating this summer. You are booked and busy. You need someone who is upfront and honest with their intentions. Otherwise, you’re not interested.

Aquarius

Aquarius, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Electric Feel” by MGMT. You require a mental connection in order to fall for someone else. You need that special intellectual spark. You want a love like no one else, a unique romance that is hard to define. That is what will keep you interested.

Pisces 


Pisces, the summer song that’s the soundtrack to your love life is “Lover” by Taylor Swift. You are a hopeless romantic and wear your heart on both of your sleeves. Your sensitive and intuitive nature makes it easy for you to see the best in others, and you have a tendency to fall in love rather quickly. You love love and this is why your summer song is “Lover.”

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4 Red Flags You Seriously Need To Prioritize Your Mental Health Right Now https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/07/4-red-flags-you-seriously-need-to-prioritize-your-mental-health-right-now/ Wed, 12 Jul 2023 16:04:21 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1080814 Mental health matters just as much as physical health. In fact, mental health and physical health are deeply intertwined and impact one another.

However, there is still a stigma with mental health issues and seeking treatment for those problems. And because of the stigma, many people may struggle to not only ask for help but also recognize that their mental health may be suffering.

Here are four red flags you seriously need to prioritize your mental health right now.

1. You’re incredibly irritable.

Basically, everything is making you mad. This includes even the most minor inconveniences such as getting your purse caught on the door handle or misplacing your keys temporarily. Positive things seem to be setting you off, too. For example, a friend you love texting you makes you feel stressed and on edge. Your fuse seems to be getting shorter and shorter and you’re not entirely sure why.

Irritability is a sign of mental health issues because it can be caused by a number of things including depression, anxiety, stress, or poor sleep.

2. Basic self-care is becoming increasingly difficult.

Standard self-care tasks such as showering, brushing your teeth, getting to bed at a reasonable hour, etc. has become incredibly difficult for you to accomplish.

3. You’re completely exhausted.

Even if you’re sleeping enough or even more than usual, it doesn’t seem to make a difference in your energy levels because you’re completely drained all the damn time.

4. You’ve been isolating yourself.

While spending time alone is important and healthy, isolating yourself is another thing entirely. Signs you may be isolating include avoiding social outings that used to be fun, canceling plans on a consistent basis, experiencing stress or anxiety when thinking about socializing, etc.

***

Mental health is imperative for overall wellness, and needing help managing your mental health is nothing to be ashamed of. If you have been experiencing any signs of mental health troubles, do not hesitate to reach out for support.

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Overcoming Your Upper Limits: Insights From Brianna Wiest’s New Podcast https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/05/overcoming-your-upper-limits-insights-from-brianna-wiests-new-podcast/ Thu, 11 May 2023 18:02:19 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1075787 This month marks a great deal of exiting news around beloved author Brianna Wiest. First, her latest book The Pivot Year was released April 25, 2023 and Wiest is currently on tour right now promoting the book through packed book signings and speaking events. Second, the first episode of her new podcast, called simply the Brianna Wiest podcast, is live now on all platforms

In the first latest episode, “7 Ways You’re Upper-Limiting Your Own Life” Wiest dives deep into the concept of upper limits and how they might be holding you back from achieving the success and happiness you desire.

Wiest discusses how we often unconsciously sabotage ourselves when we start to experience joy and positivity in our lives — a major theme of her book The Mountain Is You. This self-sabotage limits our forward momentum and connection to our desires. To overcome these joy extinguishers, we need to become aware of our upper limits and work to expand our capacity for positivity and happiness.

Wiest emphasizes that recognizing and overcoming our own upper limits is essential for achieving greater success, happiness, and fulfillment in our lives. She references the book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks as a valuable resource for understanding and overcoming the upper limit problem.

In addition to discussing the upper limit problem, Wiest also explores the importance of seeing things from a new perspective, being aware of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs, and expanding our capacity for joy and positivity. Find the podcast on your favorite platform or YouTube.

Quick Links

 

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Make This The Year You Change Your Life — With Brianna Wiest’s New Daily Meditation Book https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/04/this-is-how-you-change-your-life-in-one-year-according-to-brianna-wiest/ Wed, 26 Apr 2023 15:52:49 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1075558 Change is daunting. Change is terrifying. Change invites in the unknown. But mostly, change is inevitable. The truth is that, throughout our lives, things are absolutely going to shift and move around and evolve. And while some of these changes are out of our control, there are definitely facets of our existence that are within our power to change for the better. And in her newest release The Pivot Year, author Brianna Wiest wants to help us do just that.

The Pivot Year consists of 365 daily meditations, each one guiding us through the process of becoming who we were always meant to be. However, while The Pivot Year is a new book, Wiest’s mission of self-actualization is nothing new. Over the past decade, Wiest has inspired and challenged us and encouraged us. Wiest’s work has been deeply important in my own life and I know this is true for countless others. Her writing has moved me, called me out, and brought me back together. And I know The Pivot Year will be another cornerstone book for me.

But don’t take my word for it. In her own words, here is author Brianna Wiest on her latest book The Pivot Year, which meditation was most important to her, and why she writes the way she does.

First off, congratulations on the publication of The Pivot Year! Can you give us a brief rundown about what this book is about and how it differentiates itself from your other works?

The Pivot Year is different from my other books primarily because it’s a collection of daily meditations. I intend for it to be something you can read bit by bit, to incorporate into a morning practice, or bedtime routine. I want it to be something that feels digestible and easy and not intimidating to approach. I think that no matter how hungry we are for change and inner growth, sometimes it can just be hard to find enough time — and I don’t mean minute for minute, but really the mental space. Everyone is busy. We all have schedules and responsibilities and stressors. I want The Pivot Year to be something that can have a profound and positive impact on you without taking up so much of your day. 

For you, which meditation from The Pivot Year has been the most important in your own life?

This is a beautiful question and I think I would have to say it’s actually the few paragraphs that I included into the introduction, where I explain that the process of changing your life in the way it needs to be shifted is not one where you more closely align with external expectations, with the kind of person you think would make you more loved or appreciated or seen — but the kind of life that more clearly reflects the truth of who you are inside. The person you really are. The person you want to be. The life that gives you peace. The life that makes you proud. Even if other people don’t understand. 

How does someone know when they are in the midst of a pivot period? In other words, how does someone know they’re actually ready to change their life? 

None of us are ever ready for change, because change is never comfortable. So it’s not something that we will easily choose, even if it’s what we do genuinely want. However, I think what matters is reflecting on the fact that change has an inevitability factory to it. Our inner selves whisper until they scream — and the journey is about learning to hear and honor those whispers, to change when we are feeling nudged, before we are being forced. 

Some years are more transformative than others, and a pivot year definitely will be one of the most expansive years of someone’s life. Do you have any advice for someone about to undergo their own pivot period? For example, are there any challenges to be expected? Anything beautiful to look forward to?

You are meant to evolve. You are meant to grow. You are meant to change. In the world we live in today, where we are often connected to a collection of every person we’ve ever known throughout all the phases of our lives, it can feel extra difficult to break through all of the layers of expectation and find our inner truth. I want you to remember that not only is this natural and normal, it’s healthy. It’s healthy to grow and experiment and it takes bravery to do so. Most people are content to accept a life that they can deal with, rather than fighting for one they will savor, one they will be proud of at the end of the day. When you begin your pivot period, you’re not just ending one chapter and beginning another. You’re opening yourself to a way of living that has you responding more to the moment you’re in. Adapting in real-time. It’s not about ever arriving at one single goal or objective. It’s about becoming the person you actually want to be, and living as them each day — even when it’s hard. It’s harder to live a life that’s not true. And I think that’s what you need to remember. 

When it comes to personal growth, it can feel as though it is a never-ending journey. And, in a way, I think that is because the work of stepping into ourselves is never truly finished. And this can become exhausting, to say the least. With that said, how can The Pivot Year help make our healing and self-actualization journeys more successful and fulfilling?

My goal is to make growth feel more like the essence of, and an extension of, being wholly human… rather than a never-ending project to prove yourself as worthy of something you think someone else is withholding from you and might give if your prove yourself enough for it. My goal is to help everyone realize that this life will always present us with challenges, and it’s going to be how we learn to respond to them that determines our outcomes… not whether or not we can avoid them entirely. If we numb ourselves to the discomfort, we begin numbing ourselves to the joy. But that doesn’t mean we need to make our personal growth a constant forward motion. Often, the deepest growth comes from staying still. From learning to pause. From deep rest. From feeling that pinching, stinging hurt — and choosing not to act on it. Growth is as quiet as it is loud. And I hope that’s something The Pivot Year helps everyone to remember. 

If you could go back in time at the start of one of your own pivot years, what do you wish you had done differently? And what would you have kept the same?

I wish I would have found my courage earlier. Every change I have ever made — beginning relationships and ending them, moving, again and again, altering and adjusting my work-life so that I had time and space for what I actually cared about, who I spent time with and didn’t, what habits and coping mechanisms I allowed into my life and then when I had to draw a line in the sand — it never came out of nowhere. It was always the inevitable end-point of a clear trajectory that I could see at the beginning. I wish I had found the grace and bravery to change course when I knew I needed to. I wish I had wasted less time.  

For anyone who has not yet been introduced to you and your work, what would you want them to know about both yourself and your writing? 

I am not trying to sound self-deprecating here, and I hope that this will come across clearly — I am just a person trying to figure it out. And I want for us to all figure it out together. I write what I have needed to read. What’s helped me and soothed me and moved me forward. And then I offer it up to whoever might need it next. I’m not special in the way that a lot of writers in my genre are. I don’t have any exceptional accolades, other than that I have felt deeply called to write my heart out, and have done it with all the truth and conviction I could muster, and have found the courage to share it, again and again, and I hope that when you read my words, you will realize that from one stranger to another… you really aren’t alone. 

Anything else you want the world to know about yourself and The Pivot Year?

What I know for sure is that we cannot lose what’s meant for us. When we grow more completely into the people we are meant to be, the things that are meant for us meet us at a deeper and more beautiful place than ever before. Every time I was afraid to make a change, I was scared because I didn’t want to lose love in some way, shape or form. What I didn’t know was that to be loved as a person I wasn’t… is not to be loved at all. It wasn’t until I opened my heart to my own self… that others could meet it there, too. 

The Pivot Year is available now on Shop Catalog.

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To The Mother Figures In Our Lives: You Made Us Who We Are Today https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/04/to-the-mother-figures-in-our-lives-you-made-us-who-we-are-today/ Thu, 13 Apr 2023 18:12:39 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1075223 Every mom deserves to feel extraordinary, which is why this Mother’s Day, Thought Catalog is partnering with Papyrus to share stories and products that make any mother figure feel special. Celebrate the moms in your life this May with a gift from Papyrus.


There are so many different moments that have molded us into the people we are today. Our childhoods. Our greatest heartbreaks. Our most triumphant moments. Our firsts and lasts and everything in between. But there is nothing in this life that has had quite the impact on us the way our mother figures have.  

After all, you taught us how to love. You showed us the power of compassion. You represented what kindness is and have proven time and time again that there is strength in radical gentleness and consideration for others. 

You taught us how to speak up for ourselves. You encouraged us to stand in our truth, and defended that truth, even when it might make us less liked or understood. You taught us that we are not for everyone and not everyone is for us, but that is okay. Because the right people will always be there and hear us out. 

You taught us that we have so much worth. And whenever we forgot that worth, you made sure to remind us. You always told us that we deserved our own love and kindness, and that this self-compassion was fundamental to becoming our best selves. 

Being a mother figure it isn’t just our birth mothers either. Sometimes, a mother figure is a coworker. A neighbor. A grandparent. A mentor. An aunt. 

It takes a special person to be considered a mother figure and being a mother figure is not something every person can do. It takes a certain kind of strength, determination, and character. It takes patience, it takes grit, it takes perseverance.

On Mother’s Day 2023, all of the mother figures deserve to feel extraordinary as they’ve made our world. It is a much kinder, brighter, and beautiful place to be thanks to them. Today, we celebrate you and you only. 

To the mother figures in our lives, thank you for making us who we are today. We couldn’t be who we are without your influence, your love, and your guidance. Here’s to you. We appreciate you more than words can ever say. 

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This New YA Novel Is For Anyone Who Ever Believed They Had To Be Perfect In Order To Be Loved https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/04/this-new-ya-novel-is-for-anyone-who-ever-believed-they-had-to-be-perfect-in-order-to-be-loved/ Tue, 11 Apr 2023 15:55:54 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1075123 I first stumbled across Ella Cerón’s writing in college. Cerón was one of the OG staff writers at Thought Catalog, and the one whose work resonated with me the most. Every time I saw Cerón published a new piece, I hurriedly clicked on the article to read it.

While I loved all of Cerón’s work, there is one piece she wrote that I never forgot called “Perfect Isn’t Interesting, Anyway.” In the essay, Cerón posits that perfection isn’t what makes someone compelling or worth loving:

“In retrospect, being perfect seems awfully lonely. And it’s tedious. There are, I think, far more compelling ways to spend your time than to second-guess everything you’re going to do and wear and eat and say. And someone will love you for all the flaws you expose, anyway.”

It was this piece that opened the door to my self-love journey and also helped me find the encouragement to finally end my own pursuit of perfection.

Learning to love myself despite by flaws has been a difficult road to travel but a worthy one, and I still have a ways to go. Luckily for me, though, Cerón is back with a debut YA novel called Viva Lola Espinoza. And if you too have ever believed you had to be perfect in order to be loved, in order to be interesting, and in order to live, Viva Lola Espinoza is the book for you.

After receiving an unexpected C in her Spanish class, Lola Espinoza’s parents send her to stay with her grandmother in Mexico City for the summer so she can learn Spanish before she comes back home for her senior year of high school.

When she arrives in Mexico City and starts working at her cousin’s restaurant, she meets the incredibly charming and handsome Rio and also discovers that her family is cursed. While Lola had never been lucky in love, she is now learning that this bad luck is actually by magical design.

With the help of Rio’s surly and stoic best friend Javi, Lola makes it a mission to break the family curse so she can fall in love without consequence. And over the course of that summer, Lola learns more about her family, herself, and the magic around us all.

In this beautiful coming-of-age tale, Lola comes to realize that maybe you never had to be perfect in order to be worthy of love. You just had to be brave enough to show up as yourself and all that you are. Viva Lola Espinoza is an important book and a reminder that perfection isn’t interesting, anyway.

‘Viva Lola Espinoza’ is available now.

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Taylor Swift And Joe Alwyn’s Breakup Prove The Power Of Letting Love Run Its Course https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/04/taylor-swift-and-joe-alwyns-breakup-prove-the-power-of-letting-love-run-its-course/ Tue, 11 Apr 2023 00:30:13 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1075132 Over the weekend, Entertainment Tonight reported that Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have separated after six years of dating. While Swift, 33, and Alwyn, 32, have not confirmed the split themselves, a source “close to Swift” confirmed the news to CNN saying, “Taylor and Joe broke up a few weeks ago. They simply grew apart and plan to remain friends.”

Despite the amicable ending, the breakup has shaken Taylor Nation to its already emotionally unhinged core:

@imgoingtojump

the world is a cruel place #taylorswift #joealwyn #fyp #midnights #lover #reputation #alltoowell

♬ All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) – Taylor Swift

(By the way, I am part of this demographic, don’t come after me, fellow Swifties.)

But unlike Swift’s other breakups, this one feels a little more gut-wrenching. While Alwyn and Swift intentionally kept their relationship private, the little glimpses we did get into their partnership showed a happy, healthy, and strong couple. Alwyn also inspired “Lavender Haze” on Swift’s recent studio album Midnights.

“My relationship for six years, we’ve had to dodge weird rumors, tabloid stuff, and we just ignore it,” Swift told Entertainment Tonight. “And so this song is sort of about the act of ignoring that stuff to protect the real stuff. I hope you guys like it.”

The Internet is having trouble processing how a relationship can inspire songs like “Lavender Haze” only to end mere months later, especially because Swift and Alwyn seemingly did everything right.

They kept their romance between just themselves. They protected “the real stuff” and loved with deep intention and commitment.

And yet, they still didn’t work.

But maybe that’s okay. Because maybe love isn’t about how long it lasts or if it has forever potential. Maybe the best love stories are actually the ones that we were still brave enough to write despite their expiration dates.

Just because something ends, that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter or doesn’t matter. Love doesn’t always need to fall apart spectacularly in order for it end either. Sometimes, it simply needs to run its course. And when love leaves, perhaps one of the most romantic and loving things we can do for one another is to let each other go when it is time to do so.

But not all hope is lost. Because just as Swift once said, love is like daylight. It always arrives again.

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A Story About Happenstance https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/03/a-story-about-happenstance/ Thu, 02 Mar 2023 14:50:01 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1074256 “I still feel you all around.” – Taylor Swift, “Marjorie”

“Does anyone want a waffle maker?” Uncle Gil asked in our absurdly large family group chat. We were preparing to sell my grandparents’ home, both of whom had recently passed on, Granny in April 2020, and Grandpa in July 2022. As such, we were beginning to clear out the relics of lives once lived. DVDs and floral candle holders with candle sticks that had well-worn wicks. Grandpa’s dozens of hockey trophies and coffee cups. Side tables and couches and photographs of all of our shared memories.

I’ll take it!” I texted back. I also was able to snag the Keurig and a few other pieces of decor, including the floral candle holders that belonged to Granny and her gold jewelry box where I now keep a pair of pearl earrings she used to wear, too.

I have to admit, there’s a weird sense of guilt in taking your grandparents’ items. Sure, they don’t need them anymore but being excited about finally getting a Keurig, but only because your grandparents died, does create a peculiar juxtaposition of feelings. It almost feels like you’re taking advantage of a situation you wish never happened (even though it was also unavoidable). But still, that shame and sadness lingers and you wish you could trade the damn coffee maker for just a little more time with the people it belonged to first. 

***

The things I wish I could take with me from Granny and Grandpa’s are the feelings. The warmth. The sense of safety. The inkling everything was going to be okay. That I was okay, too. Because as someone who struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember, I have always had the belief that I am difficult to love. And at 31, I still feel this way most days. Granny and Grandpa never made me feel that way, though. Even when I was at my most unwell, Granny and Grandpa would welcome me into their home on Ivanhoe. I spent a lot of time there during the summer before and after senior year of high school.

Ivanhoe became my safe place, a refuge from the storm my mind was trying to kill me with. The clouds always seemed to clear the second I stepped through their front door. 

***

Recently, I found a box full of memories that had a note Granny wrote me for high school graduation in 2010. At that time, I was 18 and volatile and sad and stubborn and ashamed at the fact I couldn’t be any better and do any better either.

I wish I could keep you just as you are,” Granny had written. 

I immediately burst into tears. 

Despite the emotional disarray that has held me hostage, Granny still saw good in me somehow. And because I trust her, I’m starting to believe maybe that there is (and was) goodness in me, along with my fraying edges and short fuse. 

***

At Grandpa’s funeral, Uncle Gil gave the eulogy. He based it on the word happenstance, a phenomenon that truly defined Grandpa’s life. Things just always seemed to work out for him. He was always at the right place, at the right time. 

The best part was Grandpa truly recognized his luck. He always knew when he had something special in front of him, and he always made sure to make the most of the serendipitous encounters as well. 

When we were clearing out Granny and Grandpa’s house, my cousin happened to stumbled across a note my Grandpa had written to himself:

“As I have learned over and over, ‘Faith, family, & friends are indeed the greatest treasures of life.’ How true! G”

***

You’ll never meet anyone like him again,” Mom said after he passed. She’s right; I know I won’t. None of us will. But the truth of the matter is we are all witnesses of happenstance, too. 

After all, we had him. And we were lucky. 

***

When someone you love dies, you try to find little signs that they were here and loved you once, and usually this evidence exists in the things they left behind. When I make my coffee in the morning, I always think about Grandpa offering me a cup of coffee whenever I used to visit. 

On Granny’s 80th birthday, we were all given tiny, glass bluebird figurines, a memento that watches over me on the shelf as I wash my dishes. When I glance up at the bluebird, I like to think of Granny bustling around in her own kitchen with the floral wallpaper, a place where we all spent so much time growing, loving, and laughing.

***

It’s been said that grief is love with nowhere to go but I don’t think that’s entirely true anymore. I’m beginning to realize that maybe the leftover love we have for the people who have passed on does have somewhere to go, and that’s because that love never left us. 

It lives on within us. 

***

Granny got distracted easily but also loved to pay attention. To everything all at once. She’d notice a little haphazard tree while driving or the flowers someone lovingly planted in front of their home. She saw things just begging to be admired that no one else seemed to care about. So she picked up the slack. She was in awe of the world. 

She noticed the good in me, too. And everyone, really. She understood people in a way most others do not.  

I know I will never meet anyone like her again either. But I’m lucky I did.

Happenstance.

***

On the day of Grandpa’s funeral, we went back to the yellow house on Ivanhoe that raised our family after the service and the wake. Everything that had been there with us was there. The “BURFORD” mailbox. The Jesus stone statue in the backyard. The floral wallpaper. Everything felt familiar but so very different all at once. 

After dinner, Aunt Beth resembled her mother, fumbling with the dishes, and cleaning up the mess we made.

How can I help?” I asked, even though I realized I was probably 30 minutes too late and the dishwasher was running and most things were back in their proper places. Aunt Beth smirked at me and we laughed. 

***

The Ivanhoe house was sold last summer to a lovely woman and her family. I like to think of the memories they’ll create there. I hope they feel the warmth, too. I pray they’ll sense that everything will be okay, too, and that they are enough as they are. 

I think they will. How could they not? They’re at the right place, at the right time.

Happenstance.

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10 Things Women Who Value Emotional Intelligence Do Differently In Relationships https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2023/02/10-things-women-who-value-emotional-intelligence-do-differently-in-relationships/ Wed, 22 Feb 2023 22:18:50 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1074128 Emotional intelligence is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. In fact, a 15-year-long study even showed that emotional intelligence was a major predictor of relationship satisfaction and the length of a relationship.

Emotional intelligence matters, and some women understand this more than others. While emotional intelligence is important for all types of relationships, romantic and otherwise, this piece will focus on romantic relationships in particular.

And so, without further ado, here are 10 things women who value emotional intelligence do differently in relationships.

1. She communicates openly and honestly.

Basically, her communication skills are top-notch. She is open, honest, and direct when discussing important matters. She doesn’t avoid difficult subject matter and lets her partner know if something is bothering her or if she needs a shoulder to lean on. She doesn’t expect her partner to read her mind and always anticipate what she may need at a given moment. And so, she simply tells them.

As well, a woman who values emotional intelligence listens to her partner without just waiting for her turn to speak. She engages in active listening, asking questions and seeking to understand her partner’s perspective (even if she doesn’t always necessarily agree). She knows that communication is a two-way street and it’s about talking as much as it is listening.

2. She seeks out moments of solitude.

An emotionally intelligent woman embraces solitude and makes sure she makes time to be alone and enjoy her own company. This is because she knows spending time solo is imperative for not only reconnecting with herself, but also for recharging and creating her relationship with her partner stronger, too.

3. She isn’t afraid of the ebbs and flows.

In other words, a woman who values emotional intelligence understands that there will be ups and downs within the partnership. And she takes this fact in stride. She doesn’t panic when her relationship feels a little boring or if things aren’t clicking perfectly. This is because she knows that factors outside of the partnership, such as work and stress, can play a role. She lets everything run its course because she has faith in her partner, in herself, and in the relationship. She trusts that things will work themselves out because they always do.

4. She relies on herself.

This isn’t to say she won’t lean on her partner for support when she needs it or refuses to ask for help. This just means that a woman with high emotional intelligence knows that, in the end, only she is responsible for her emotions, her decisions, and her actions.

5. She practices gratitude.

Gratitude is an important part of emotional intelligence. She is aware of the good things in her life and makes sure she takes the time to appreciate them. She’s not constantly chasing the next best thing. She is present, she is secure, and she is grounded.

6. She has strong friendships.

She invests in her friendships and has strong, healthy relationships with those she holds closest. Her friends are deeply important to her and she treats each friend as the investment she sees them as.

7. She’s open to feedback.

She isn’t defensive when someone may have a piece of constructive criticism for her. Rather, she listens to what the other person has to say and considers their point of view. Of course, she knows that not all feedback is relative and she always considers the source. But she still hears others out because she is confident in herself, and she takes in the opinions of those who matter (and forgets the rest).

8. She has healthy boundaries.

She sets healthy boundaries with her partner and encourages them to enforce their own. She understands that boundaries will only bring herself and her partner closer, and ultimately make their bond that much stronger.

9. She embraces change.

She knows you can’t grow and expand without change. As such, she’s always seeking out new experiences, both to experience individually and with her partner.

10. She doesn’t expect a perfect partnership.

But she doesn’t want perfection anyway. She just wants the real thing.

 

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6 Show-Stopping Moments In ‘Babylon’ That Will Change The Way You Watch Movies https://thoughtcatalog.com/molly-burford/2022/12/6-show-stopping-moments-in-babylon-that-will-change-the-way-you-watch-movies/ Mon, 19 Dec 2022 17:58:55 +0000 https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=1072728 From writer-director Damien Chazelle, Babylon is an ensemble film set in the late 1920s to early 1930s when films were transitioning from silent to sound. Hilarious, magical, and insanely tumultuous, Babylon is not only a celebration of filmmaking but also of doing wayyyy too much. Of being too much and over the top and not giving a damn what anyone else thinks about it!

Through skilled filmmaking, Babylon tells its story with outrageous perfection. But there are a few major moments in the film that not only will leave you glued to the screen but also will change the way you watch movies going forward (and maybe the way you lead your life, too). Here are six of those show-stopping scenes.

Transporting a live elephant from the dusty outskirts of Los Angeles to a party in Bel Air.

Let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we? Or rather, the elephant outside of Los Angeles. In a scene of epic proportions, Manny (played by Diego Calva) transfers a live elephant from the dusty outskirts of LA to a party in Bel Air. And why? To make a scene! Granted, it does not go well but not in the way you’d think.

A manic race through the streets of LA with the last available camera in the city before the sun sets on an epic production with thousands of extras.

The golden hour isn’t just valuable for getting the perfect selfie for the ‘Gram, it’s valuable in the filmmaking process as well. At one point, there is a race through the busy streets of Los Angeles to the last-available camera and utter mayhem follows suit. This scene really captures the importance of lighting in movies and will make you appreciate these details more than you have before. 

Tobey Maguire’s performance. Period.

Because obviously! It’s Tobey Maguire! Maguire’s performance will make you understand the value of casting.

Margot Robbie’s character fights a f*ing snake.

Margot Robbie plays the formidable Nellie LaRoy who dreams of making it big in LA. LaRoy won’t let anything or anyone get in the way of her reaching dreams, including, as it turns out, a literal goddamn SNAKE. 

The wildest bacchanalian party ever committed to film.

And you thought your college frat parties were on one. Not even. Babylon features the wildest and most unhinged bacchanalian party ever committed to film. If you want utter debauchery, terrible decisions with hilarious outcomes, and amazing fashion, then you’re in luck. 

A film crew who has only made silent movies must shoot one of the first sound pictures. Much rage and absurd hilarity ensue.

It’s hard to be a beginner and the scene featuring a film crew who has only ever worked on silent films making a sound picture for the first time will make you laugh out loud but also realize how different movies used to be. It will show you the power of dialogue and delivery and make you appreciate these facets of filmmaking so much more. 

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